At last! I've revised chapter 1 of Ghosts of Innocence. What a struggle that was!
And I don't think I've actually changed all that much in the end. The overall flow of the chapter is still the same, but I've changed the imagery of the opening paragraphs to get straight into Shayla's point of view from the outset, I've followed a lot of nit-picks from critiques to clean up the text, trimmed some fat, and given Shayla a tougher time making her exit from the crippled ship. This will give her some problems to deal with later on, which I still have to work out and incorporate into the story!
Overall, I'm a lot happier with the chapter. To me, it feels closer in to the main character, cleaner, and more logically-sequenced.
But that is only my opinion. It is now in the queue on Critique Circle ready to be mauled again next week.
Meanwhile, on with the next chapter...
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6 comments:
Wow, how awesomous is this??? It's like taking the dirty laundry out to be washed and then loving the clean, freshy smell as you fold it and put it away. *SIGH*
Congrats on working out the kinks and working in the tension. Are you going to post your chapter here so we can read it? *Batting lashes*
~Elizabeth :)
Great job, Ian. Sounds like you knew what needed to be done to make it better, and then did that thing. I find that when I end up with the same feeling you're describing after doing an effective revision, the finished product is *always* a vast improvement over the original. In my own experience, that's when my stories get sold. :)
So, keep up the good work!
Hi Ian,
You seem pleased with some adjustments and fine tuning you have made to chapter 1 of 'Ghosts of Innocence'.
You never know, you might be in for a pleasant surprise and any 'mauling' is kept to a minimum:-)
Hope you are staying warm.
In kindness, Gary :-)
Lovely analogy, Elizabeth. No plans to post chapters here because I'm still trying for publication one day, so I've got to be careful not to scupper that possibility (however remote).
However, there's a hopeful thought, David. It's a good feeling, but one I'm treating with caution because I feel like I've been down this road before. My biggest fear is that the next round of critiques will try to lead me in a circle back to where I first came from.
Gary, a mauling is more-or-less a given in the critiquing world :D Yes, keeping warm, thanks. We had a few cold (for Victoria) days this week but it's warming up now. Plus we have a wood stove in our bedroom - now there's a sign of civilisation!
Congratulations, and how did you get through the chapter! I'm in a state of inertia with my literary creativity.....sometimes I use my wacky blog to substitute for writing time when I should be focusing on a chapter in my story that I too would love to publish one day.
Hello SNEE! Yeah, I know what you mean about blogging ending up as an substitute for writing, and I don't even have the excuse of a superlatively inventive blog like yours! Sometimes you need to give yourself a holiday from the literary side if you're stuck, and sometimes you just need to knuckle down and set those distractions aside. I use a bit of both at different times.
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