I have skipped ahead a bit from the last snippet. Shayla, codename "Shark", has rendezvoused in the tropical forest with members of a terrorist cell. They are traveling by boat, navigating a maze of waterways and finally emerging onto a wider stretch of open water.
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The far side looked to be about a mile away. The water seemed unmoving, oily surface disturbed only by myriad dancing insects.
Weasel kept the boat close to the near shore and headed north. Tiger and Cobra scanned the sky constantly. After half an hour, Cobra held up his hand and Weasel cut the motor.
Cobra pointed to a smudge of deeper shadow amongst the trees on the far shore. Weasel nodded and angled the boat out into open water. Afternoon heat closed in like a vice, amplified by the heavy air and sunlight reflecting off the water.
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If you enjoy these snippets and would like to read them properly in context, they are all from early chapters which can be sampled for free on most of the online stores listed in the sidebar.
Master assassin Shayla Carver has killed many times. That's what assassins do, nothing to lose sleep over, but this mission is different.
She's never killed a whole planet before.
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16 comments:
Smoothly written, tense, terrific details. Well done!
A sensory treat. The details are perfect in this snippet, Ian. :-)
I love this: "Afternoon heat closed in like a vice". It's bee n so hot and humid where I live, and this is such a perfect description of that feeling.
I'm enveloped by your description. Wonderful.
I'm enjoying the story and was thoroughly drawn in by the details of the water, the insects, all of it. Can't wait to see what happens next. Great snippet!
The description of the water is beautifully disgusting. Love it! Nice snippet.
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Steven, glad you can sense the tension amongst the details here.
Teresa, Liz, Charmaine, a bit of description this week to balance the previous action :)
Veronica, we'll be following this thread for a little while longer...
Joyce, "beautifully disgusting" - nailed it :D
Sounds like the water must be really hot.
Love the visual. This line especially. 'Afternoon heat closed in like a vice, amplified by the heavy air and sunlight reflecting off the water.' Definitely stifling!
Very vivid and tactile. Oppressive heat makes the tension even more unbearable. Really great scene setting.
Fabulous description! I could the oily water and what the shores looked like. Great job.
Now that's nice description. Well done.
Sue Ann, maybe, but I don't think I'd be tempted to take a dip :)
Karen, Alexis, I was going for stifling and oppressive.
Tina, Elaine, thanks!
I can feel the tension building...ah, and now I'm hot and sweaty too! Nice job!
This feels very heavy with expectation. Really great imagery!
Ooh-er Millie :)
Christina, expectation is good, keep the reader guessing :)
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