Shayla, codename "Shark", has rendezvoused in the tropical forest with members of a terrorist cell. They are traveling by boat, navigating a maze of waterways and finally emerging onto a wider stretch of open water. They are crossing painfully slowly, when they become aware of a low growling noise in the air...
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She wanted to turn her head to see the approaching air cruiser, but she caught Tiger's warning glance and slight shake of the head under her hood. "The river folk ignore Imperial craft - just sit still."
Shayla closed her eyes and concentrated on the sounds around her. The growl filled the air. Above it, she discerned a faint hum of machinery. The craft moved low and fast. It sounded like it would pass some way off. She listened for any change that would signal a change of course.
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There is still a chance to win a free e-copy of Ghosts of Innocence over at Crystal Collier's blog. She featured me in her Writerly Wednesday spot last week. All you have to do is correctly guess the lie in the Truth or Lie game to be entered in the draw.
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20 comments:
You're making me nervous. I think something's wrong.
Many passages rely on sight to describe the scenes around them. I love the way you used sound to paint a refreshing snippet.
http://joycelansky.blogspot.com
I liked the description of the noise from the machinery. I think something rough is going to happen soon. Good 8!
Ah, an airship...you've made me nervous for her, and I wish she was Jedi, "These are not the terrorists you're looking for" : )
Tense situation or is just me searching for trouble. Super eight.
Elaine, you're supposed to feel nervous :)
Joyce, I like to delve into the other senses from time to time. It does make a change.
Frank, we'll have to see...
Millie, love the way you're thinking :)
Charmaine, Shayla doesn't need to search for trouble, it seems to find her!
Great use of the senses to pull in the readers! And, I'm with Millie. lol. That gal is such a hoot! :-)
Another good 8, Ian!
Why am I guessing the newcomer may very change course and things will get a bit intense? Your snippet really creates the mood - so hard NOT to look at something! Can't wait for more, great excerpt.
Interesting, I'm wondering what is out there growling. Yikes. Great eight.
Interesting--she's caught between something that growls and a vehicle of some sort. Why do I feel like both are bad news?
The hardest advice to take when you're doing something illegal--just act natural.
Teresa, I'm still chuckling over Millie's comment :D
Veronica, yep, nothing to see here... *whistles innocently*
Neva, Cara, not sure if the disjointed nature of the weekly snippets is throwing people off, the growl is coming from the vehicle too...
Caitlin, it's hard, but these people are professionals...we hope :)
Great tension. I love how closely she listens. You're right there with her, hoping the craft will pass them by. Well done.
Your use of sound literally outs the reader's nerves on edge, great job. Wondering about the item in the air - could someone be looking for her? Great 8.
Good use of those senses that can be used without alerting the enemy.
Tina, thanks, that's what I was hoping.
Chelle, you are pretty close, they just don't know specifically that it's her they're looking for :)
Sue Ann, you've got to use all your senses in this undercover game.
I really love the ominous feel of this. It's so hard NOT to look at something when you really want to! Great 8!
"Shayla closed her eyes and concentrated on the sounds around her. The growl filled the air."
I liked those two lines. Builds tension.
Kudos!
Nice little snippet. I can 'see' the scene.
For such a short snippet, it sure packs some descriptive punch. :-)
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