Continuing the opening chapter from The Ashes of Home, Shayla realizes something is wrong with the air in her room. Someone has released a drug intended to knock her out but she held her breath at the first taste.
=====
Shayla stumbled forwards a couple of steps, feigning the effects of the drug. Two figures stood to one side in servants’ robes. Barras and Gingallia? No, these couldn’t be her servants. They were still standing and any innocent party breathing this air would be comatose by now. Instead, these two imposters moved with stealth and menacing purpose. One behind Shayla, cut off her escape, the other between her and the doors leading out to the balcony and sitting room to her right, the only other ways out of her suite.
Anyone else?
=====
As I mentioned last time, I’m still looking for one or two more beta readers for The Ashes of Home. I’m looking for people who can provide honest opinions and suggestions on things like plot, structure, and characters - in other words, how does this hang together as a story? Is it a compelling read, and if not, what’s missing?
If you are interested, please drop me a note either in the comments or through my contact page. Please include an email address I can reach you at, an idea of when you think you could finish by, and also what I could do for you in return.
Posts
8 comments:
Just came by to wish you a Happy New Year, Ian! Hope you get those beta readers!
I'm wondering how long she can hold her breath. I know I wouldn't last very long. Great suspense.
Situation going from bad to worse, it seems, but she is certainly thinking clearly. I'm enjoying the suspenseful action scene! Happy New Year to you...
She's handling the situation well ... for the moment, until oxygen starvation makes her do something desperate and maybe stupid.
Denise, Happy New Year to you, too!
Cara, not long enough ...
Veronica, things aren't looking good right now.
Ed, you've hit on the problem right there :)
Hi Ian - I do hope there's someone else around ... I wouldn't like to go for lack of oxygen ... good luck with beta readers - they will appear ... cheers Hilary
Clearly Shayla needs ninja-powers at this juncture. Maybe the gas/drug is light and rises to the ceiling? Or grab the menacing figures and tear off their breathing apparatuses. One will pass out and she can use the other. Yeah, that'll do it.:)
Hilary, no-one else nearby close enough to help in time!
Huntress, she's good, but not good enough to take on these two.
Post a Comment