Saturday, December 17, 2016

Weekend Writing Warriors December 18

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly blog hop where participants post eight to ten sentences of their writing. You can find out more about it by clicking on the image below.
http://www.wewriwa.com/

Continuing the opening chapter from The Ashes of Home, Shayla realizes something is wrong with the air in her room.

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Ambushed! In my own fucking bedchamber! Shayla pushed aside the annoyance. Questions of who and how could wait. The first priority was survival.

Time slowed as Shayla’s mind kicked into overdrive. The thump of her heartbeat in her ears doled out the seconds of her life. Peritax was not a poison, it would just leave her helpless. It dispersed and broke down quickly, which meant someone was nearby to release it and to finish the job. Whatever that might be.


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I am looking for a small number of beta readers for The Ashes of Home. I'm looking for people who can provide honest opinions and suggestions on things like plot, structure, and characters - in other words, how does this hang together as a story? Is it a compelling read, and if not, what’s missing?

Although this is a sequel, you don’t need to have read Ghosts of Innocence. In fact it would be good to hear from people who have and who haven’t, to see how this works both as a sequel and as a standalone read.

If you are interested, please drop me a note either in the comments or through my contact page. Please include an email address I can reach you at, an idea of when you think you could finish by, and also what I could do for you in return.

17 comments:

  1. Sounds like she's about to be in a troubling situation. I hope she finds a way out beforehand.

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  2. I don't read much fiction and very little Sci-fi, but i hope you find good people to give you feedback.

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  3. And that someone wanted her to know who they were before she died!

    Loving it, Ian

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  4. I love how you describe the thumping of her heart. Very visceral.

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  5. Hi Ian - that caught my attention ... so glad you're near needing Beta Readers - sorry I definitely wouldn't do. Good luck and a happy Christmas season .. cheers Hilary

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  6. You write so well. It's always a pleasure reading your excerpts.

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  7. Gripping scene, Ian. Pulls you right in and won't let go. Nice job!

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  8. I agree with Nancy. With writing this good, it's painful when the excerpt stops!

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  9. Quite the tense situation, can't wait to see how it all resolves. Enjoyed the excerpt!

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  10. I can just hear the 'dun, dun, dun!' at the end of this excerpt. Finish the job? Eep! Excellent work!

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  11. Frightening! I hope she's prepared to defend herself.

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  12. Oh, wow, what a hook! What comes next is bound to be horrific!

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  13. Jessica, she has her methods :)

    Stephen, I'm sure I will.

    Kim, you'll see some clues as to their intent in a later chapter ;)

    Ed, I liked that sentence, too.

    Hilary, hope you have a happy Christmas too!

    Cara, thank you!

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  14. Nancy, with Shayla I like kicking things off with a bang!

    Marcia, you're too kind!

    Veronica, we'll see how things develop over the coming weeks.

    Julie, you just know they didn't go to all that trouble just to say 'hello' :)

    Angelica, don't worry, Shayla's pretty resourceful.

    Elizabeth, horrific, yes, but not in the way it was planned ;)

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  15. Yikes! But knowing her, she'll act fast.

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  16. Hi Ian. You've certainly kicked this off with a bang! Now what happens next?

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  17. Christina, she sure will :)

    Denise, knowing Shayla, a bit of murder and mayhem is on the horizon :)

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I love comments. Please feel free to join in the discussion.

I also try to respond to comments. I usually do so during the early evening (Pacific time) which may be many hours away from now!

So if you leave a comment and return some time later and I haven't responded yet, please don't think I'm ignoring you. I'm not. Honest.

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