Saturday, July 5, 2014

Weekend Writing Warriors July 6

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly blog hop where participants post up to eight sentences of their writing. You can find out more about it by clicking on the image below.
http://www.wewriwa.com/

Shayla, codename Shark, has just met Cobra in the middle of a forest clearing...

Slightly modified punctuation

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Cobra led them back the way he'd come. Shayla noticed that he was always careful to keep to one side of a line between her and the bushes cloaking the base of a tree on the edge of the clearing. Not complete amateurs then, good.

As they reached cover, Shayla stopped. "You may as well join us," she said to the bushes. "If I wished you harm, your weapon would be of little help."

Cobra grinned. "C'mon, Tiger," he called, "they said she was good."

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If you enjoy these snippets and would like to read them properly in context, they are all from early chapters which can be sampled for free on most of the online stores listed in the sidebar.

18 comments:

  1. I love that she knew what was in the bushes! Great 8.

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  2. Great flow to this scene. Nice work!

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  3. Yep--she's good. And you torture her for it, testing her real grit. Good choice for today's excerpt, Ian! Five star book. :-)

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  4. Chelle, just a bit of educated guesswork, but she's usually right :)

    Steven, thanks.

    Teresa, oh yes, she has a lot to go through doesn't she?

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  5. Love that she's smart and isn't fooled easily. Great 8!

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  6. Good deduction on her part. One comment: I'd say avoiding the direct line instead of to one side. I had to read that about three times before I got the picture.

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  7. And she IS good! Can't wait for more, have the feeling her skills are going to be tested...

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  8. Terrific scene full of energy. Thanks.

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  9. Oh, she's good! Guess she has to be.

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  10. Karen, this was a good opportunity to show some of her fieldcraft.

    Sue Ann, I had some trouble with that line, it's a complicated thing to get across cleanly in just a few words. Thanks for the thought.

    Veronica - you'd better believe it!

    Cara, in her line of work, she has to be.

    Charmaine, thanks.

    Elaine, you got it!

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  11. Oh, she is keeping them on their toes. I am glad she is still so aware. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop;).

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  12. Tina, she has her hands full with this crowd, as we'll see in future snippets.

    Millie, I kinda like her too :)

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  13. Great job of showing Shayla's competence. I like her!!

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  14. Eleri, I love reading these kinds of details myself - it's satisfying to watch an expert at work.

    Ellie, for now, anyway :)

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  15. that was fun - i like that you made a strong female character - shark is a great name!

    and thanks for commenting on my broken branch falls blog tour!

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