More of Shayla's plunge from space. In the confines of her re-entry bubble, she is trying to brake her speed before the tiny jet of plasma leaking through the damaged bubble cooks her...
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When she could stand the pain no longer, she relinquished her grip and curled into a tight ball, allowing gravity and friction to do their work.
The stench of charred flesh recalled childhood nightmares, and the flight from her doomed home on Eloon twenty three years ago.
As you sow, thus shall you reap. An ancient text came to mind. She blinked away tears and set her mouth in a grim smile.
Weak and nauseated, Shayla felt the roasting temperature subside. Watching the speed, altitude, and temperature displays, she breathed more easily, still relying on oxygen from her mouth unit but thankful for a gradual return to a livable pressure.
Her visor display clocked down the altitude.
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15 comments:
Wow..very powerfully written.
Wonderful stuff. You start to relieve the suspense but not too quickly. Fantastic, too, how the sentences fit naturally into a group of 8. Cool beans :)
Agree with Delores and Marcia - well done. I could smell the odors and feel the tension.
Well thank goodness...this has been an intense series of snippets! Really enjoyed how today's unfolded, the glimpses into her memories...excellent excerpt!
That bubble fabric must be pretty tough.
Nice details of the charred flesh. This is one tough situation for her and I hope she doesn't get cooked.
Delores, thanks.
Marcia, 8 sentences is a nice length to work with. I find lots of snippets in my writing where an 8-sentence window can be made to work.
Susan, glad it's coming across for you.
Veronica, the whole first chapter is an intense action sequence. The memory is important to give a glimpse of motivation.
Sue Ann, the fabric is high tech and very special. Material science is her Family's specialty.
Frank, by now she's safe from the barbecue, but not yet out of the woods :)
Nice! I can hardly wait to read this one, Ian! Very fluid writing, and incredible details grabbing multiple senses. :-)
A tense few moments there. Very well written. :-)
Charred flesh - that's effective.
Teresa, I'm working on the publication details, hopefully won't be long now.
Misha, thanks.
Alex, glad it hit the mark.
I let out a huge sigh of relief for her...nice job eliciting an emotional response from this reader : )
I didn't even realize I was holding my breath until the last line. Wonderful tension and fear. So glad for the moment things are leveled out.
Millie, are you telling me you're hard to please as a reader? :)
Sarah, don't speak too soon ;)
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