Last week, we left Shayla plunging from space in a damaged and rather flimsy bubble. In a fight aboard ship, the bubble was punctured now allowing a tiny jet of plasma in...
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The plasma of re-entry glowed through the veined skin as she plunged through thickening air. The inside of the bubble was like an oven.
This is madness!
Shayla rehearsed her next movements. Before she had time to reconsider, she reached for the handgrips, her shoulder once more in the path of the intruding fire. Trembling fingers squeezed the controls on the grips. The trailing edge of the bubble split open and eased outwards, spreading to slow her descent and revealing a dazzling circle of blue above her.
A thin shriek escaped her lips around the mouthpiece as she kept hold of the controls, braking her fall as much as she dared.
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16 comments:
This is captivating, Ian. Hopes she makes it to the surface in one piece! :)
Yikes. You've made her a brave heroine.
Good action writing, Ian! I hoped you'd continue from where you left off. I wondered how she'd get out of the pickle she was in. Nice visual of the bubble spreading out and the big wide blue opening up to her. :-)
Yup, you describe everything succinctly but it's full of emotion. You've got a good handle not just on the character, but on your own writer's voice. :D
Hope she makes it. This is a tough spot, but she seems to be doing all she can to get through it, including enduring some intense personal hardship. A really heroic character.
I'm looking forward to seeing where she lands, and where thing go once she has arrived!
Oh wow. Not only do I think I'd be shrieking, but I might just piddle myself as well. She's tough. Loved picturing this happening in my mind!
David, you can guess that she makes it down, maybe not entirely sound, though :)
Delores, that's what I was aiming for, thanks.
Teresa, seems like I'll have to follow this thread a few more weeks.
Marcia, thanks!
Garrison, it's tough, but on the whole she knew the risks! Landing is only the start, though, she has a long road ahead.
Millie, who's to say she didn't? :D
Wow, she's brave! And cool, love the way she keeps her head in this extreme situation. Excellent excerpt, adrenaline-filled for me as well as her!
So much tension!! Wow!! Great job!
Is the mouthpiece what's feeding her air to breathe?
Veronica, Sarah, glad the tension is coming through. Yes, she has to keep her head, or else...
Sue Ann, that's correct. I mention it earlier in the chapter in a section I skipped over in the WWW snippets.
Great tension in this excerpt. I get the feeling that she's in control, doing whatever she has been trained to do, but it's still terrifying. Good job.
Sandra, when you jump from a crashing ship using leading-edge technology, there's only so much you can expect to be in control of :)
So glad I popped by! (or you popped by me 1st :) ) But the tension in this is wonderful. I don't know anything about her or what's really going on, but I'm definitely wanting to know more.
I can't wait to see how this ends. :)
Hugs!
Valerie
T, glad I popped by, that was a thought-provoking post of yours :)
Valerie, seeing as this is just chapter 1 it will take a while to see how it all ends, but I hope to see Shayla safely down to the ground soon :)
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