Sunday, July 31, 2016

Weekend Writing Warriors July 31

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly blog hop where participants post eight to ten sentences of their writing. You can find out more about it by clicking on the image below.
http://www.wewriwa.com/

Continuing a scene from my current WIP, The Ashes of Home, Shayla has tracked a mysterious madman, Randall, to a makeshift bar in a forestry work camp. The patrons have been plying him with drink, and he rewards them with an insane rant about fire falling from the sky. Shayla asked about the fire and Randall described an impossibly pure bight lilac.

Note - a Sword is a class of battleship, the largest in existence.

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Despite the warmth in the room, goosebumps raced up and down Shayla’s body. The table in front of her swam in and out of focus. She pushed herself upright, steadying herself against waves of vertigo, ignoring angry protests as she stumbled from table to table towards the door.

Outside, the night air restored a measure of balance. She gathered herself and, with an effort, walked around the corner to the shelter of a dark alley. There she doubled up and was violently sick.

There were no immigration records of this man because he hadn’t arrived and dropped off grid as Brin supposed. No, he had always been here.

Shayla and a few hundred others had escaped the Cleansing, taking flight while the Imperial navy closed in, but this man had lived through it. He had just described perfectly the flash from an exawatt plasma cannon, the signature weapon of Imperial Swords.

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17 comments:

  1. You've got me hooked. I want to know what happens next. How are along are you? When will the book be done?

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  2. Oh gosh! What a horrible thing to have lived through. I'm really enjoying the excerpts from this book. :)

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  3. Wow, no wonder she's having such a strong reaction. Great snippet!

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  4. Interesting development and her reaction seems quite true to life. Can't wait to read more of this one!

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  5. Cara, I'm about 3/4 through the initial draft. On past form I want to be ready to publish some time next year but it will take a while to push it through a round of thorough critiques.

    Jessica, no-one was supposed to have lived through it!

    Christina, this was a shock realization.

    Veronica, glad her reaction seems realistic.

    BTW - something I didn't include in the notes is that they are on Shayla's old home world, which was burned to ash 30 years ago. She is now rebuilding it, coaxing life back into the soil. The events that brought us to this point were covered in Ghosts of Innocence.

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  6. I really enjoy your writing style, and I have to say you've got me hooked, too! Wonderful description in this snippet! :)

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  7. While the violet rain sounds bad, there must be more to make her sick.

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  8. Love the subtle tension and clear emotion here! How did Randall live through that? Do pick up from here next time!

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  9. Julie, kind of you to say so.

    Ed, think Independence Day scale destruction.

    Stephen, a sanitized name for a brutal act.

    Marcia, that is a very good question, and pretty much the lynch pin of this story.

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  10. Brilliant, Ian. Just the right balance of drama and horror. I am looking forward to much more, please.

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  11. Oh, wow. No wonder the man comes off as crazy--that's a lot of trauma.
    Her reaction is very emotional, really forges a connection with her.

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  12. Hi Ian - Shayla's realisation of what has actually happened just adds to the tension of what happens next ... cheers Hilary

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  13. Thank you, Kim. There will be more over time but I'm only posting a few scenes to this forum. Eventually there will be the book of course ... :)

    Caitlin, yes, he had a lot to deal with.

    Hilary, what happens next is kinda sad ...

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  14. Hi Ian. You're upping the tension with Shayla. Great extract. :-)

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  15. Such emotional drama in such a short snippet. You are a master, Ian.

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