Continuing a draft scene from my latest WIP, Shayla Carver is in disguise and stopped off at a work canteen to refuel. She inadvertently took some of the good food, supposedly off-limits to “her kind”, and is going to see what response her actions will provoke.
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She finished loading her tray and sauntered toward the front, angling towards an empty table near a window.
A lanky youngster in a guard’s uniform intercepted her. It wasn’t clear whether he was on duty or simply passing through, but he glanced over his shoulder then jerked his head towards the back of the room. “You should find somewhere with your own people.”
“Back off, soldier.” Shayla kept her tone low but firm. She held his gaze, expressions set like stone. “And be ready to fetch the clean-up crew.”
He swallowed and nodded. Shayla breathed a sigh of relief that he wasn’t too green to catch on to the Firenzi military slang.
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19 comments:
Hi Ian - not knowing the whole - this seems an interesting snippet ... and gives us an idea of the dangers lurking behind that special food ...
Good luck - cheers Hilary
I'm guessing clean-up doesn't mean doing the dishes in this case? Can't wait to see what happens next!
She's bold...or foolish.
Wow, she doesn't take crap from anybody, this is great! The tension is crackling throughout this scene.
Hilary, crossing the local unwritten conventions can be dangerous.
Christina, that would be a correct guess :)
Cara, she's hopping mad. That's a whole new dimension of dangerous!
Marcia, you got it, and glad the tension is evident.
She's tough all right. Since this kid didn't challenge her too much, I wonder what will set off the inevitable confrontation! Enjoying the story...
I gather he'll be part of the clean-up crew once the fight starts, correct?
Veronica, this kid was just trying to head her off before trouble started. He has no idea who he's talking to :)
Ed, you got the right idea ... the "clean up crew" here refers to the medics. Someone's gonna need them.
She's one tough cookie. I like that about her, but I think this is going to get a lot worse before it gets better.
Another compelling installment.
Huh, now I wonder what she was really asking. I suspect some kind of back-up or medical attention, but I could be wrong...
Elizabeth, I like that about Shayla too :)
Stephen, glad you think so.
Caitlin, you got it right, and it will be needed...
Hi ian this is andrea from n.ireland we met when we were all in dingle bay quite some years ago ive been meaning to contact you and maybe find either you or ali on facebook but had no success. I sent ali an email but not sure if its right or if she still uses it, i got it from your letter back in 2008 that you sent us.
My email address is andreasharonschulz@gmail.com
Hi Andrea, great to hear from you. I'll send you our correct email addresses shortly.
He clearly has no idea who he's talking too. :) Great tension-filled tidbit.
Awesome conflict. I love the challenge and his reaction.
Jean, you're right, he doesn't.
Crystal, he'd be daft to react any other way in the face of an angry Shayla :)
Haha! This left me smiling. Those others clearly have no idea about Shayla's background. Great tension, Ian! Now off to read this week's!
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