Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly blog hop where participants post eight to ten sentences of their writing. You can find out more about it by clicking on the image.
More excerpts from The Long Dark. You met Anna and Jennifer in earlier posts, now I’m introducing the third major point of view in the story – Mikey, Anna’s son. This scene happens after Anna rescues the crew of a stranded crawler, though they sadly lose one of the crew members ...
Mikel arranged a meticulous wall of crisp fries, corralling a spoonful of mushroom stew. A small heap of green salad stood guard to one side. The trick was to eat the innermost fries before they got too soggy, and rearrange the circle before the stew leaked out onto the rest of the plate. Mushroom stew and green salad didn’t mix. Mikel couldn’t explain why, it was just one of those unhappy combinations that he avoided at all costs.
Like the school room, the clan dining room was unusually quiet. The adults’ voices were odd today. They talked in hushed tones about someone called Ambrose. Something bad happened. When he looked close, there was a trail of damp down Anna’s cheek and a strange catch in her voice.
That’s ten sentences. The scene continues ...
He tried to ignore it. Wishing it away. Anna was crying. The strangeness stabbed deep into his mind. Children cried. Anna didn’t. Anna was strong. It would be okay.
Mikel had no idea who Ambrose was. Maybe he’d met him, maybe he hadn’t. Grown ups all looked the same, apart from a few that he knew well, so the talk was not relevant. Not interesting.
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8 comments:
Oh, to be young again, when eating food you don't like is one of your only worries. Nice introduction to this character!
I love the job you've done of recreating a youngster's POV. Playing games with food . . . what a great way to introduce Mikey to readers.
Hi Ian - Mikel will obviously have very different views ... great they can eat fries, find salad and produce mushroom stew ... I certainly could agree with him re that that combination for a meal wouldn't mix! Soggy fries - not good.
Mikel's thought re Anna crying ... and the unknown Ambrose - but my imagination is running ...
Glad Mikel isn't worrying for now though ... all the best - Hilary
Saving those fries from sogginess is much more important.
Jessica, sadly the worries of the real world will intrude all too soon.
Ed, Mikey's POV was a chance to bring in an entirely different perspective.
Hilary, they actually feed themselves quite well on this world.
Alex, it's all a matter of prioities :)
I LOVE Mikey's perspective. You do a fantastic job of bringing a unique aspect to this story. :-)
No post from this today. I was away last week. Haven't caught up yet. :-)
Enjoyed the glimpse into Mikel's thoughts. Gives an interesting twist to the events going on. Terrific snippet!
I appreciate his perspective in this story. And I don't like it when my food touches either.
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