Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly blog hop where participants post eight to ten sentences of their writing. You can find out more about it by clicking on the image.
Continuing a chapter from Ghosts of Innocence, Shayla has stolen the identity of a new high-ranking Imperial appointee, Brynwyn bin Covin. She’s been met by a soldier (Kurt) from the Imperial Palace Guard, who’s escorting her to the Palace. Outside in the square Kurt spotted a row of coin-operated punishment stalls, and Shayla realizes the crowd will expect her to inflict some pain on the prisoners there. She’s stopped in front of a young woman prisoner with two young children.
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A hush descended on the square.
Struggling to quell a tremor running through her whole body, Shayla dropped the coin into the slot.
A dreadful scream rent the air. It tailed off into convulsive sobs, joined by a chorus of wails from the children.
Shayla felt the square spinning around her. She was almost overwhelmed by revulsion at the coin-operated torture she had just inflicted. She gritted her teeth, trying to twist her grimace into thin-lipped satisfaction. Immerse in the character! Brynwyn was a self-righteous prig.
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Yup. She did it :(
The question is, what’s next?
Posts
21 comments:
Yeah, I know she HAD to do it to maintain her cover, but this scene was still gut-wrenching. (I reckon that means you wrote it beautifully!)
That's got to be one of the most horrible torture devices ever. Drop in a coin. So sick.
That scene kind of hurts to read.
Well done! :-)
Finished AOH. A five-star book. :-)
Susan, it was hard to write, but I think it came over well.
Alex, yeah, it's not a nice system.
Teresa, thanks so much for the review of Ashes!
Coin-operated torture? You have a brilliantly sick mind . . . or maybe it's sickly brilliant?
Ed, either way around works for me :)
Hi Ian - that was really foul to read ... and I think I'll stick on my chair trying not to think about it. The next instalment will be interesting to read ... love the comments: just right ... congratulations - poor Shayla having to play her part. Cheers Hilary
Exceptional snippet. More to be learned. Thanks.
Rough world you've built here. Nothing else to say really, hope your character can carry on for the greater good.
What a horrible moment! Made me grimace too.
What a strong woman! I hope she has a chance to repay the misery with compassion.
Yes, this is where she's going to have a tough time staying in character. Regardless, she'll never be the same after this.
Hilary, this was meant to be tough to read, unfortunately I have to make sure Shayla is tested!
Charmaine, thanks.
Veronica, rough indeed. Which is why she's heel bent on bringing it down.
Karen, as it was meant to :)
Nancy, you'll see ...
Jessica, sadly, she's been through much worse already :(
What an awful test to have to pass. Hope it's worth it!
Oof. That was a punch in the gut.
I hope she can stay in character or all this is going to be for naught.
Christina, unfortunately Shayla is in way too deep for any second thoughts!
Aldrea, it's a hard scene, for sure.
You made me feel her revulsion for her action as well as her disgust for the person she's impersonating. Good job.
Oh wow, that was brutal. Coin-op torture? Now, that is creative Ian. I am horrified and fascinated at the same time. Well done on the character development and audience participation.
Diane, glad the right feelings are coming across.
Donna, yeah, it's a nasty regime!
Sounds positively horrifying but I'm not going to ask what she just did! You meanie... :P
Elizabeth, IMO being a meanie - especially to your main characters - is a big part of being an author.
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