The mundane life of a British spy

Any time I set off for the shops, I wonder what kind of experience it’s going to be this time. It seems usually to be either everything’s a breeze, or what seems like a simple task turns into an exercise in frustration. Not much in between. I bet James Bond never had to put up with such mundane nonsense  :)

The latter seems especially to apply when I’m looking for parts to repair or replace something around the house. This morning I had an unusually long list of stops to make. The usual groceries to get, plus a trip to the bank and the liquor store ... all routine and mundane ... but on top of that, a replacement light fitting and a collar to finish off where the stove pipe from our wood stove goes through the wall. Should be routine, but my spidey senses start tingling in anticipation of frustrations ahead!

In the end, this morning was a bizarre rollercoaster of plusses and minuses. Not the usual all-or-nothing.

First stop, liquor store. An essential component of grocery shopping, though admittedly neither of us drink a fraction of what we used to. This is more or less a once-a-month trip and easy-peasy.

Then on to a large hardware store. Light fittings ... not much of a selection, but all I need is functional. Find a ceiling fitting the right size. Success.

Look for a collar for the stove pipe. All sorts of pipes, angles, adapters ... everything but a collar. Ask one of the staff who confirms they don’t stock them. He was good enough to concede that this is an odd omission, and directed me to a store downtown. Frustration.

Never mind, that was just a chance addition to my list anyway, not the most important item. But just on the off-chance I stop off at a smaller hardware store on my way. Find the right aisle ... look on the shelf ... Yes! That looks like what I want. A couple of flat packages on the shelf. Success!

Oops! Spoke too soon. I realize what I’ve picked up is a cover plate to blank off an unused flue hole, not a collar with a hole for the pipe to run through. Frustration.

Ask a storeman just on the off-chance, and he checks the shelf. The second bag, that I’d assumed was identical to what I’d examined, turned out to be what I wanted after all. Success!

On to groceries. Boy, was the store busy today. And they’ve clogged many of the aisles with stacks of extra merchandise making it even more difficult to navigate. This is normally an easy mission, but today was a real slog. And, despite the obvious crowding, some people seemed to make it their mission to see how awkwardly they could place their carts for maximum obstruction. One woman managed to single-handedly block the entire aisle with cart alongside her while she perused the shelf like she had all the time in the world, utterly oblivious to the people either side trying to get past. Frustration!

But at the checkout, I was pleasantly surprised by an unusually low bill this week. Success.

I even managed to fit the collar onto the stovepipe without too much difficulty. I think I’ll leave the light fitting for another day  :)

I guess, as long as the frustrations get balanced by positives, so I finish on a good note, I can declare “mission accomplished” for one day.