Saturday, February 10, 2018

Weekend Writing Warriors February 11

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly blog hop where participants post eight to ten sentences of their writing. You can find out more about it by clicking on the image below.
http://www.wewriwa.com/

Continuing a scene from my first book, Ghosts of Innocence.

Shayla has stolen the identity of a newly-appointed senior public servant, and infiltrated the Palace in disguise. She has already fallen foul of her new boss, Mabbwendig ap Terlion, Master of the Emperor’s Domestic Household, and is confronting her again in the cavernous staff dining hall.

Shayla was forced into upstaging Mabb at the start of the meal. Skipping ahead a few paragraphs, Mabb is making her displeasure felt.

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From time to time, Mabb's voice rose above the hubbub. "Yama, hair looks like rats' tails."

A wide-eyed girl looked like she'd been slapped. She stared at Mabbwendig, lower lip trembling. A lustrous river of immaculately-groomed hair hung to her waist.

"Shave it off." Mabb waved her hand dismissively. "Farouk, rose beds in Fountain Court are a disgrace. Tomorrow, you personally inspect and groom each plant. Emperor must have beauty to look on while he works."


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13 comments:

  1. Mabb is definitely not happy. I feel for anyone who suffers because of it.

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  2. Hi Ian - Mabb is unnecessarily cruel demanding such deeds ... I hope Shayla can hold her tongue, and manage to sort things out with the vicious Mabb - cheers Hilary

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  3. Jessica, Mabb is never happy :)

    Hilary, such is the way with bullies everywhere!

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  4. Ordering a woman with waist-length hair to shave it off is cruel, and all the worse for being so casually done.

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  5. Now Mabb is just being a you-know-what.

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  6. Well, isn’t she lovely? Hope she gets her comeuppance before too long!

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  7. Oh dear, she sure knows how to make each person miserable. I'm with Christina - hoping karma gets her back and soon! Interesting excerpt.

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  8. Ed, yes, I realized that was an incredibly cruel thing to do.

    Alex, you got it. But earlier scenes in the book show that this is who she is.

    Christina, oddly, she was quite fun to write. Not so much fun to meet, of course :)

    Veronica, we'll see :)

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  9. Every emperor has his taste doesn't He? Reminds me of the a Chinese novel whose emperor collected concubines instead of plants.

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  10. What a charmer! She is obviously one of those self-obsessed people who bring misery wherever they go! (I can imagine how much for she was to write though!)

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  11. I'm happy to say no one has ever told me my hair looks like rats' tails. lol. Nicely written!

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  12. Oh, she is a piece of work. I am not liking Mabbs at this point. :-) I like the dialect you've given her, Ian. Makes her character very distinct.

    No snippet for me this week. :-)

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  13. Trin, sounds like an interesting novel.

    Hywela, there is a kind of misplaced and hyperactive sense of duty in her actions, but the result is misery for a lot of people.

    Julie, thanks.

    Teresa, she has a distinctive way with words for sure.

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I love comments. Please feel free to join in the discussion.

I also try to respond to comments. I usually do so during the early evening (Pacific time) which may be many hours away from now!

So if you leave a comment and return some time later and I haven't responded yet, please don't think I'm ignoring you. I'm not. Honest.

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