Continuing a scene from my first book, Ghosts of Innocence.
Shayla has stolen the identity of a newly-appointed senior public servant, and infiltrated the Palace in disguise. She has already fallen foul of her new boss, Mabbwendig ap Terlion, Master of the Emperor’s Domestic Household, and is confronting her again in the cavernous staff dining hall.
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Mabb's nostrils flared, but Shayla had not quite given her cause for a public reprimand. Instead Mabb clapped her hands and shrieked, "Food!"
Shayla recognized the senior waiter, Luke Frendis, standing behind Mabb's table, looking like he'd bitten a lemon. The serving staff watched Luke, clearly waiting for his signal. His eyes were on Shayla; he tilted his chin slightly at her.
Dammit! What's he playing at?
The silence deepened, broken when Mabb twisted her head around and yelled, "Scriven! Start serving." Spittle flew from her quivering lips.
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16 comments:
What is he trying to tell her? Though, I don't think she has an opportunity to find out right now. Nice snippet! :)
Wow, this Mabb is a piece of work! I wonder what Luke is trying to get across to Shayla?
Nice tension, very visual and fun at the same time. You make the characters very real and enjoyable, Ian!
Jessica, we'll see next time. Shayla and Luke have met before and she showed Brynwynn's strict religious observance then.
Christina, Mabb gets a lot worse, believe me!
Nancy, this was fun to write, too :)
Hmm, interesting development. Not what anyone expected, it seems! Great snippet...
Hi Ian - wouldn't want to eat if Mabb's spittle was flying around ... yes but what is going on - cheers Hilary
I am so very NOT hungry now. Then again, maybe that's part of Mabb's plan.
Outstanding descriptive writing!
"...looking like he'd bitten a lemon..." Fantastic visuals, Ian! :-)
Veronica, least of all Shayla!
Hilary, at least Shayla is several tables away from unwanted liquids :)
Eden, Mabb's just a very ugly kind of angry.
Jess, thanks.
Teresa, glad it made sense :)
Great description of Mabb. Why does she have it in for Shayla? Very intriguing.
I forgot to sign up in time, but I did post. http://dianeburton.blogspot.com/
Whatever Luke's playing at, Mabb isn't in on it. There are subtle tensions here that I don't understand, but want to learn about.
Great imagery spittle and all. :)
Diane, petty resentment (covered in a different scene). For Mabb, it doesn't take much :)
Ed, astute observation. Mabb doesn't realize what's going on behind her.
Karen, great or gross? :)
Nice tension in this scene. :-)
This scene does a great job providing insight into Mabb's character.
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