Saturday, January 20, 2018

Weekend Writing Warriors January 21

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly blog hop where participants post eight to ten sentences of their writing. You can find out more about it by clicking on the image below.
http://www.wewriwa.com/

Continuing a scene from my first book, Ghosts of Innocence.

Shayla has stolen the identity of a newly-appointed senior public servant, and infiltrated the Palace in disguise. She has already fallen foul of her new boss, Mabbwendig ap Terlion, Master of the Emperor’s Domestic Household, and is confronting her again in the cavernous staff dining hall.

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Mabb's nostrils flared, but Shayla had not quite given her cause for a public reprimand. Instead Mabb clapped her hands and shrieked, "Food!"

Shayla recognized the senior waiter, Luke Frendis, standing behind Mabb's table, looking like he'd bitten a lemon. The serving staff watched Luke, clearly waiting for his signal. His eyes were on Shayla; he tilted his chin slightly at her.

Dammit! What's he playing at?

The silence deepened, broken when Mabb twisted her head around and yelled, "Scriven! Start serving." Spittle flew from her quivering lips.

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16 comments:

Jessica E. Subject said...

What is he trying to tell her? Though, I don't think she has an opportunity to find out right now. Nice snippet! :)

Unknown said...

Wow, this Mabb is a piece of work! I wonder what Luke is trying to get across to Shayla?

Nancy Gideon said...

Nice tension, very visual and fun at the same time. You make the characters very real and enjoyable, Ian!

Botanist said...

Jessica, we'll see next time. Shayla and Luke have met before and she showed Brynwynn's strict religious observance then.

Christina, Mabb gets a lot worse, believe me!

Nancy, this was fun to write, too :)

Veronica Scott said...

Hmm, interesting development. Not what anyone expected, it seems! Great snippet...

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Ian - wouldn't want to eat if Mabb's spittle was flying around ... yes but what is going on - cheers Hilary

Eden "Kymele" Mabee said...

I am so very NOT hungry now. Then again, maybe that's part of Mabb's plan.

Jess Schira said...

Outstanding descriptive writing!

Teresa Cypher said...

"...looking like he'd bitten a lemon..." Fantastic visuals, Ian! :-)

Botanist said...

Veronica, least of all Shayla!

Hilary, at least Shayla is several tables away from unwanted liquids :)

Eden, Mabb's just a very ugly kind of angry.

Jess, thanks.

Teresa, glad it made sense :)

Diane Burton said...

Great description of Mabb. Why does she have it in for Shayla? Very intriguing.

I forgot to sign up in time, but I did post. http://dianeburton.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

Whatever Luke's playing at, Mabb isn't in on it. There are subtle tensions here that I don't understand, but want to learn about.

Karen Michelle Nutt said...

Great imagery spittle and all. :)

Botanist said...

Diane, petty resentment (covered in a different scene). For Mabb, it doesn't take much :)

Ed, astute observation. Mabb doesn't realize what's going on behind her.

Karen, great or gross? :)

Misha Gerrick said...

Nice tension in this scene. :-)

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

This scene does a great job providing insight into Mabb's character.

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