More from the first chapter of Ghosts of Innocence. Shayla got away from Scolt, and is preparing to abandon the plunging starship in a personal escape bubble, but Scolt has tracked her down to the loading bay. Shayla is completely enclosed in the folds of her bubble, and can't fight off the crewmen trying to pin her down. In desperation, she launches herself early ... and far higher up than she'd planned.
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Shayla curled into a ball, notepad clutched to her chest, and ignored the hands trying once more to pull her to her feet.
Ship's telemetry showed the outer hull temperature already soaring. A distant clangor echoed through the hull. White noise rose to a rushing roar, smothering all other sounds.
The loading bay door blew outwards. Escaping air propelled Shayla into the upper stratosphere. Her gauzy shroud snapped taut into a luminous bubble under the pressure of the air trapped inside. She resisted the urge to gasp in agony at the sudden decompression, and forced herself to keep her mouth open and airway clear while her lungs vented.
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17 comments:
Lots of tension there.
Not only does this read generate interest in reading more but, in the previous post, your art work is excellent. Is there no end to your talent? ;-)
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This is a scary scene that I can envision quite nicely, thank you. I almost held my breath whilst reading : )
Spooky and suspenseful! Great imagery too. I was hooked right to the end.
OK WOW, very tense and action packed. I was totally there with your heroine. Just an excellent excerpt!
Thanks for your comments, everyone. Tension is what I was after in this chapter. I expect I'll follow a bit more of Shayla's descent in future snippets.
Wow! Lots of tension in this scene. I'm holding my breath.
Whew! She got away. The visual this tidbit elicits is fantastic. And I kept thinking--what an imagination Ian has! Good 8. :-)
Sandra, don't hold too long, things are just hotting up :)
Teresa, don't speak too soon - it's a loooong way down!
Glad she escaped, but I hope her head doesn't explode with that sudden decompression. Interesting story.
Oooh, her poor ears!
Frank, apparently the human body can survive a while under decompression like that . Nothing is likely to explode, but it's unlikely to be comfortable.
Homecomingbook, one of the reasons to let the airways flow freely...ears and lungs. Close your mouth and try to bottle it up - the instinctive thing to do - and you're asking for trouble!
Intense scene! You packed a lot into that 8 sentences. I could visualize that well.
The Murders of Polly Frisch
I love how you included the senses here - I could see it, hear it, feel it!! Great writing Botanist!
Cindy, Denise, glad you were able to visualize the scene.
Fantastic scene! Well done!
Hugs!
Valerie
You pack so much imagery into a few sentences.
Awesome writing
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